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A Guide for Birth Partner over 30

April 24, 2020

Pregnancy is just not for the mothers to overcome with but it is also for their partner to struggle with. This guide for birth partner can help you. A shared obligation and a new crossroad that you need to take as couples and as parents in the future. It is very necessary that both the mother and the birth partner must be able to pull-off the needed teamwork, patience, and understanding all the more during pregnancy through this guide. There may be a number of guides and advice out there for the mothers to have a tolerable and safe pregnancy. However we also forgot that the mothers will not take this journey alone. She has a loving partner to work with. 

We prepared short and sweet guide for the birth partner to learn by heart.


Be the best emotional support you can be. 

There is no other person that she needs to be with for the rest of the nine months than you, her partner, who is able to support and to fill in the needs she will be needing. On one day she might ask you to get her some “rare” food that she wants to eat and wants it badly. Sometimes, she will reject eating the food that you prepare for her even though it is favorite even prior to pregnancy. Just prepare all the worst scenarios that can occur within nine months. There are two things that you should not lose: your patience and your sanity. We can’t afford to have a major fight in this crucial time. Love her. Love her more. She needs you and she depends on you. 

List the supplies needed.

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You’re presence is needed not just for emotional support nor you are not a trophy partner. You should provide a helpful hand so that your wife’s pregnancy will go smoothly. One of the many things that you can do is to be able to know what supplies are needed for pregnancy. These are just some suggested things that you can prepare.

  • Essential Oils for massage
  • Lip balm
  • Toothbrush and toothpaste
  • Hairbrush
  • Two of her own short gowns or long T-shirts and a robe, or whatever she prefers to wear as hospital clothes.
  • Hair band or any accessory that will keep her hair from her face (if she has a long hair)
  • Birth ball or a stress ball (if she prefers to have one)
  • Comfortable socks and slippers
  • Warm blanket or shawl 
  • Her favorite music
  • Her comfort food (be sure it is healthy and has the clearance of the doctor for her to consume)

You should also make a list of the things that you should have during these times. These guide will aid you in performing your role as a supportive birth partner:

For the birth partner:

  • Copy of the Birth Plan
  • Grooming supplies (toothbrush, breath mints, deodorant, shaver)
  • Food for snacks
  • A guide for birth partner
  • Sweater
  • Change of clothes
  • Slippers
  • Paper and pencil
  • Reading materials, music, internet data, subscription to your favorite movie streaming service that will keep you entertained if the mother does not need your help or she’s having her rest.
  • Camera, batteries, charger, etc.
  • A well-charged smart phone for sending photos, texts, and messages about the birth
  • A cash-on-hand and a working credit card.

If you are still in doubt about the things that you prepare, the best thing that you can do is ask her. She might need some things that you have overlooked and not present in this guide for birth partner. Don’t forget to ask.

Entertain her. 

Her general disposition is our utmost importance. But sometimes the environment in the hospital is usually dry and bland which might make her bored. In order for her to be in a good mental state, we need to make sure that she is well entertained. Be her ultimate entertainer. Always stay on her side and ready to give her a smile. This maybe the time to also reconnect your relationship with her and to improve the bond that you already have. You can do this by watching the movie that you have both waiting to watch together. She needs a birth partner to guide her emotionally. Binge-watch your favorite TV series. Sing her favorite songs (even at your most despicable voice). Do some funny dances from time to time. Tap the the inner kid in you.

Take a hospital tour.

Weeks or months before the expected delivery, you should be able to discuss together the hospital where she will give birth. This is important so that you will be able to do some initial preparations and run-through about the in’s and out’s of the said medical facility. As a birth partner, you should be knowledgeable on the protocols that the hospital to avoid delays and problems. From the paper works, the location of some important departments and offices (i.e nurse’s station, cashier, pharmacy, office of the attending doctor, etc.) to the kind of room where she will spend her recovery period, these must be sorted out ahead of time. So take time to visit the hospital to guide you what to do as a birth partner.

Be healthy. 

Most importantly, take care of yourself. The last thing that you want to happen is for you to be ill during these crucial moment and for your partner to contract illnesses brought by your poor health. Do not forget to take vitamins and supplements. Make regular appointments to your doctor and avoid unhealthy lifestyle. This is a general advice and you should continue do this even after your partner’s delivery. Above all, we just want to have healthy and happy family.

We cannot truly underestimate the contribution of a supportive partner for both the pregnant mother and the baby. With his or her presence, according to a number of studies, have shown that it lowers her stress and her level of  anxiety. It also helps to boost the mother’s happiness and gain a positive outlook in life. It also helps to the development of the baby which will receive lesser disturbances while growing in the mood. These disturbances can be in the form of stress, the emotional state of the mother, and the level and the kind of food in take. The pregnant mother is less likely to suffer from postpartum depression.

In short, partners who also openly show their assurance and address a number of insecurity that the pregnant mother will raise can also improve her self-esteem. Be the best birth partner that you can be through this guide.

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